Falling in love and having a child
Falling in love and having a child
After a couple of years of being one of the 50 million users of apps like Tinder, and countless dates with very mixed results, the time has come to put my life into focus.
How many times have you dared to say, on a first date, that you are looking for a stable, long-term relationship in order to start a family and have children?
I imagine the answer is once, or even never.
You’re in luck!
On lullamate there are no blind dates because you will only chat with, meet and date people who want the same thing as you: to fall in love, commit to a stable and loving relationship and, above all, have children!
There won’t be any misunderstandings on your dates either, because the best thing about lullamate is that you will only meet the people you choose based on their values, education or lifestyle.
If you want to connect with the future father or mother of your children, use the filters on the app to make a customised selection.
On lullamate, it’s you who decides.
I want to have a child, but not a relationship
I want to have a child, but not a relationship
And I’m in a hurry, and they say my biological clock is ticking, and I want to be a mother, but I like my life and this makes me think. I realise that, until now, the conditions haven’t been ideal for conceiving a child.
I feel ready to tackle motherhood and it's very clear to me: I like my life and I don’t want to shoulder the responsibility of raising a child alone.
Developing a career, lack of stable employment, access to housing, buying a car, travelling, going out with friends and achieving personal goals are some of the reasons that have contributed to me delaying motherhood, or in the case of my friends, their fatherhood.
I am mature and pragmatic enough to realise that the arrival of a baby involves and complicates the achievement of professional and personal goals.
Although common among my peers, this wasn’t a problem for my grandmother who started having children at the age of 20. LOL!
The social paradigm has shifted a great deal but, ironically, the course of biology has not.
The decline in fertility for women is still around the age of 35. This is the time when you may start to find it difficult to get pregnant.
My solution is lullamate.
I feel liberated. I longed not to waste my time and to find adult users with the same desires and concerns as me. People who are not looking for a loving relationship but want to have a child. Men and women who are willing to form a so-called "diverse" family which, in the not too distant future, will be considered conventional.
Lullamate responds to the social evolution we are living through.
My sexual orientation limits my choices
My sexual orientation limits my choices
I’m gay, not sterile.
I have spent too long researching and gathering information about my chances of becoming a father and I can only find two options, but I feel helpless because neither of them suit me. Both seem long, complicated and expensive, and I want to be a father to biological children.
The only way for gay men to conceive biological children is through surrogacy. However, according to Law 14/2006 on Assisted Human Reproduction Techniques, in Spain surrogacy is not allowed in any case. In many other countries such as the United States, Canada, Russia or Ukraine it is legal.
Another parenting option for same-sex couples is adoption. In our country, you can adopt a child of Spanish nationality but, internationally, there are few countries where this procedure is accepted for same-sex couples.
I have stopped exploring.
I am a lullamate user and have already found five matches. You may wonder who they are. Women who want the same thing as me. I feel lucky to be able to connect with different users who match my tastes, values, education and, most importantly, want to co-parent with me, that is, to share the raising of a child.
This is not easy either. You are deciding who the mother or father of your child will be. But now I'm excited because I've met a potential candidate and, after several dates, we're already talking about what our shared custody will look like.
Co-parenting
Co-parenting
This term is probably not yet familiar to you, but CO-PARENTING is something that all divorced or separated couples who have had children together have been doing for decades.
CO-PARENTING is the act of sharing parenting by agreeing on rights and responsibilities as a mother or father. This relationship is established if the parents are divorced, separated or simply want to conceive a baby together, but without any obligation as a couple or romantic relationship between them.
The adult is committed, as the parent, to protect their child and assume the roles as would be the case in a traditional couple. Co-parents share time, education, love, resources and values.
CO-PARENTING can become a reality when the two parents are of different sexes (heteroparental), of the same sex (homoparental), or of a variety of sexes.
Firstly, it is advisable to discuss the issue in depth with your future co-parent to make sure that you have common interests, compatible parenting criteria, similar lifestyles or if any major changes are foreseeable in your immediate future. This stage will be crucial to decide whether to move forward harmoniously with the co-parenting project. Are you on the same wavelength?
Secondly, obtaining legal advice on co-parenting as a family will be essential. Consult a lawyer who knows the reality and the laws in force in the country where you live regarding your personal situation.
Welcome to lullamate, the only place where we redefine the future!